To gain--may not be victory and to lose--may not be defeat

This is a teaching from the Mahabharata which I have finally understood after many years

When we gain / achieve something it appears that we have gained and are victorious, but the most important factor is what that gain has brought us.

For example if a person establishes a big business, earns a lot of money but in return he is always tensed with issues, always living in fear of losing his wealth. He does not have the time to enjoy the beautiful house he has built—has he truly gained in life?

Second example if a person marries a very beautiful woman, he is envied by all; but what if that woman always gives him a though time with her tantrums. Has he gained in life?

The other way round, the best example I can give is about me. I was a speculator and lost a lot of money in the financial markets; it was a huge loss; but after that loss it brought a change in me, now I believe in earning money the right way and am always at peace with no financial anxiety. I have truly gained after the loss.

So the most important fact is that what follows after we have achieved or lost something; has it brought peace / awakening or has it made us miserable.    

Forgive yourself---she told him

Short story

Once a wanderer met a healer, they sat by the fire

He talked about guilt

“Forgive yourself”---she told him; just let go—free yourself

You will not be able to progress on the spiritual path if you carry this burden. This Universe will give you a chance to make up in this life or beyond.

He got a lesson that it is equally important to forgive yourself as it is to forgive others.

He kept looking at the fire, his eyes moist—she kept smiling with her eyes.

That night destiny had met destiny

His destiny to free himself from a burden

Her destiny—to guide him to his destiny.